“Emotions Help You To Be Better”
Three careers and one passion: theater. From it he has created a method to manage emotions: his book The Intelligence of the Heart presents it to us.
A polyglot, born in the Aran Valley and a citizen of the world, Pax Dettoni abandoned a brilliant career in international cooperation to dedicate herself to her vocation: the theater. In 2010 he founded the Theater of Conscience. Through this discipline he explores the management of emotions as a key to knowing ourselves.
Interview with Pax Dettoni
Why did cooperation change for the theater?
As an aid worker I realized that to change the world you have to make an internal conquest: the first one who had to change was me! In addition, I discovered many things that I had not been taught in school and wanted to communicate them. I always wanted to dedicate myself to the theater, so I chose this way to do it.
Why the theater? Is it therapeutic?
More than therapeutic, it is pedagogical. It is a very good way to communicate, because it allows you to see what is happening inside you in a scene.
He has worked in Guatemala, a very violent country…
Yes, to prevent violence among young people we have mixed artistic education, emotional education and the Theater of Conscience. Young people make their own works, where they pour out needs and problems. They identify and resolve them on stage.
What results has it produced?
Good, because in the prevention of violence there are two basic aspects. First, identify that I have an emotion, such as anger, that if I let it rule me, it will lead to aggressive behavior. That makes me become aware and develop a strong self to say: “I’m sorry, yes, but I’m in charge!”
And the second aspect?
It is empathy: if I learn to put myself in the shoes of the other, before hurting them, I will ask myself if I would like them to do it to me.
What makes us aggressive?
He did not accept. Frustration and fear. Feeling attacked. But in the end, I think what makes you aggressive is the lack of love, of trust, of acceptance.
In his book he says that getting to know each other is part of our life’s work. Why don’t we have it clearer?
Discovering what we are like is not generalized because it is somewhat uncomfortable. When you start a process of self-knowledge and begin to connect with your self, you run the risk that you do not like it. Take responsibility, do not blame others, do not play the victim … Being free is not comfortable or easy.
“When you start a process of self-knowledge and begin to connect with your self, you run the risk that you will not like it. Being free is not comfortable or easy “
Should we instill in children this self-knowledge?
It’s very important. We have to teach children to know everything that lives inside them and, above all, to accept it and love themselves as they are without judging themselves because they can be masters of themselves.
But isn’t there a danger of raising little daffodils there?
I am not saying that those things that we do not like should not be changed, but it does have to be done from love and affection. It is important to give them tools to overcome themselves, to manage their emotions. To start: learn to identify them.
And do you have to avoid negative emotions?
You have to learn to master them, but not repress them. That does not mean that one stops getting angry, for example. What has to be achieved is that that anger is directed by one, not that anger is directed at him. In life we will hate, we will be jealous … All that they have told us is not right we will feel. So you have to learn to master it and channel it.
Are there good and bad emotions?
Emotions are opportunities to get to know yourself and they can help you be better. There is no bad emotion for me. The behavior, what you do with that emotion, that’s something else. And that is the grace of the intelligence of the heart, which is the step that comes after emotional education: the work you will do so that emotions such as anger or hatred visit you less and less.
