Is Your Partner Taking Good Care Of You?

To love is to care, it is to take care and worry, it is to commit emotionally to the couple’s project, it is to accompany each other in good times and in bad times, it is to cultivate teamwork and mutual support, it is the art of making one’s own life and Easier and prettier than others is the ability to feel empathy for someone you love, and to be supportive or supportive of the person with whom you share a piece of your life.

When our partner does not take enough care of us, our self-esteem is deeply damaged: if the other person does not care about our health, about our mood, about our problems, then we feel that they do not care about us, or that we do not deserve the most minimal attention from the person we love.

We are used to identifying mistreatment in the form of hitting, insults, yelling and comments full of contempt and hatred. However, there is a type of abuse that is not recognized as violence: lack of care.

Being in a relationship in which the other person receives your care but does not take care of you, sometimes generates great suffering and leads us to sustain unequal relationships loaded with pain and often dependency.

How to know if they don’t take enough care of us

Caring is the basis of any love relationship, be it family, partner or friendship. When there is no reciprocity or empathy, or solidarity, or mutual support, then the relationship does not work. And not only does it not work: it can do us a lot of harm to stay in a couple in which there are no demonstrations of affection or acts of love.

Asking yourself a few questions and trying to answer them honestly can help you find out if they take good care of you (and if they like you well):

• Questions to know if you worry about your health: How does your partner take care of you when you get sick with the flu? Do you take on your chores around the house? Does he bring you medicines or natural remedies to help you get better? Are you watching your forehead to see if you have a fever? Does he make you food, bring you water or juice to hydrate you? Does he accompany you to the doctor? Does he change your sheets when you’ve got them wet with sweat? He asks you if you want a blanket, if you need anything? Does it offer to help you with whatever it takes?
• Questions to find out if it supports you in your projects: How do you react when you receive good news that is going to change your life? How does he take care of you when you are happy because you have won an award, a scholarship, a contest, or when you receive recognition from your community? Are you happy for your successes? Are you envious that you are doing well? Does it support you in your projects from the beginning, or does it make it more difficult for you so that it costs you more to achieve your goals?

• Questions to know if you are trying to spend quality time with you: Is your partner looking for time to share together? Is the time you spend together connecting with each other? Can you fully enjoy your moments?
• Questions to know if he takes care of you emotionally: How does your loved one take care of you when he is sad, nervous, worried, stressed or angry? How does your partner take care of you when you are sad? Is he able to perceive that you need to speak or do you have to ask him? Does he sit down to listen to you with attention and love? Does it negate or minimize your problems? Does he make fun of your feelings? Is he irritated by your sadness? Do you feel judged? Does he offer you a hug? Does he ask you what he can do to make you feel better? Do you take the initiative to have a detail with you that makes you feel better?

• Questions to know if he treats you well: How does he take care of you when there is a conflict? How does he treat you when you argue? Does he stop talking or cut you off for days when he’s angry? Does he insult you, humiliate you, make baseless accusations, will he hit you where it hurts the most, does he use the information he has about you to crush you? Does he enjoy exercising his power over you? Do you always try to win the battle? Do you have the calm to sit down and speak it calmly?
• Questions to know if knowing how to accompany you: When you have problems, does he run away or does he offer you his help? Does he get irritated when you feel burdened with your problems? Does it cheer you up or does it make everything blacker? If they can’t help you in any way, do you feel at least accompanied? Do you feel like you can vent to him? Does it make you feel like you can count on him? Does he give you sensible advice? Do you think about the topic to give you good ideas? How do you take care of yourself when you have a difficult day or a bad day? Does it make you moody when you complain?

• Questions to know how he treats you when the problems are both: Does he blame you and attack you? Does he skip the topic and don’t talk about it to see if you can solve it? Do you take your share of responsibility in the matter? Are you willing to sit down and talk and work as a team to solve problems? How do you react in moments of anguish, uncertainty, nerves or tension? Does he treat you well at all times? Does he see you as a partner with whom to fight side by side to get ahead?
• Questions to know if you can count on him in extreme moments: How would he take care of you if you were diagnosed with breast cancer that required chemotherapy? Do you think he would stay by your side? Would you offer your support? How would you react to an unwanted pregnancy? How would you react to a degenerative disease? What about a sudden disability? How would you react if you had to intensively care for a family member for some time? Can you ask him for favors?

• Questions to know if he respects you: Does he take into account the pacts of a couple or does what he wants whenever he can? Do you think he is an honest person? Can you fully trust him? Does he take care of you when you are in public? Does he treat you well in front of people? Do you speak well of yourself to others? Is he proud of you and shows it smoothly? Is he ashamed of you? Is he making fun of you? Does it punish you with its silences?
• Questions to find out if you care about what matters to you: How do you take care of your people? How do you take care of your pets and your plants? Can you count on him like your dearest friends?
• Questions to know if he is affectionate with you: How does he show you his affection in everyday life? Does he make you eat? Is loving? Does he ask you how you are, how do you feel, how are you? Caress you? Does he listen carefully to you when you speak? Do you feel that you give and receive the same?